REAL STORIES

Age: 19
Gender: Female
Location: Denver, Colorado

I started using meth when I was 14 years old. Here I am almost 20 still battling my addiction. When I started I just wanted to fit in with the people around (who were much older) since I had no friends. I thought these were the friends I didn't have. WRONG. I just started using here and there, but then I really started to like it. I was even going to class so high I could barely see straight. Then around when I was 15 I got cellulitis in my lip. For those of you who don't know what that is it's a very bad infection under the first layer of your skin that eventually gets into your blood stream and can kill you if it gets to your brain. Here I was trying to hide it for days. Bad idea. When I finally went to the ER the doc told me that if I would have waited any longer it would've killed me. And I got it because one night I was so high that I could've sworn that there was something in my lip so I picked and I picked and I picked. Even went to the drastic step of taking a razor and safety pin to it to try and get (nothing) whatever it was out. That's when my meth use was no longer a secret, but I kept doing it more and more hurting and lying to the ones I love. By the time I was 16 I was living on the streets because my mom couldn't handle me anymore. I had dropped out of high school, dropped down to 83 lbs, and was slamming dope. Shooting it up through a needle which is something I promised myself I would never do. I don't know how many times I tried to commit suicide throughout that period of my life. I had completely let the drug control me, I was no longer in control of my own will or body. I would go weeks without sleep or food, and when I did get sleep it would be under a bush somewhere or if I was lucky I would sneak into an apartment complex laundry room for a night until I was kicked out. I remember one night some "friends" let me crash in their motel room and I woke up to someone having sex with me I didn't know because I was so out of it. Life was hard and crazy all because I just wanted to fit in with the wrong group of people. Before I started using the drug I had everything. Straight A's, honor roll, #1 band geek, I even went to leadership camps and had the rotary program following me that were going to pay for my college. I had it all, but I guess having friends was more importantŠ I let so many people live with me and walk all over me. I ended up on probation, where I had to take UA's. It slowed me down but didn't fully stop me. However, I started going to college for veterinary assisting in July of 2008. That was my first step in bettering myself. Then in January 09, I found out I was pregnant. Now everything is changed. It's now May 30, 2009 and I will graduate next month. I'm off of probation. I'll have a little baby girl in September and I'm living back at my mom's who's trust I've regained. I don't know if I'll ever quit fiending for meth. Probably not. But now I realize there are so many better things out there that I don't want to miss.

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